Dear cab driver taking me to Brooklyn…

I don’t appreciate your attitude.

You are not doing me any sort of favor by driving me home. I don’t need the melodramatic lecture about how I shouldn’t ask cab drivers to take me to Brooklyn. This is your job, dude. Your job is to drive people to their desired destination. And my desired destination happens to be my home. In Brooklyn. Deal with it.

Why don’t you just let me do the driving? This way we can avoid the continual questions about directions to my apartment. Its simple. Take the BQE get off at 86th. Its the exit right before the bridge to Staten Island. See? Super simple. It’s a strait shot. I promise it won’t take that long and you can get your sassy ass back to Manhattan. I’m sure once you get there you won’t ever have to deal with another customer who would be like to be driven to Brooklyn again.

I assure you I am not enjoying this anymore than you are. I have to sit there and watch as the number on the meter goes up simultaneously imagining the number in my bank account go down. While I may have mentally prepared myself to spend money on a cab, actually watching my money fly out the window is a totally different matter.

I like to play this game while riding in cabs. I call it, “Guess How Much Money Kacey is Spending on a Cab Tonight.” It’s not a good game. I always lose.

Also, can someone explain to me why there is stop and go traffic at this ungodly hour of the night. What is the reason for this ridiculous number of cars? Where are you all going at 1am? Will it be fun? Can I join you? But seriously people, I could have been home like $10 ago.

Thank you Mr. Cab Driver for getting me home safe and sound. I hope you enjoy my life savings.

Best,

Kacey